Falling Hard
by RepriseOurRoles
Summary: Six steps for Sam and Kurt to both admit they are in love.


Kurt sat at the lone table in the corner of the school library impatiently. As a nervous habit Kurt began to tap his red mechanical pencil on the table impatiently. _"Why exactly did I do this? What possessed me to agree to be Sam Evan's English tutor?" _He felt like screaming – Sam was supposed to meet Kurt in the library promptly ten minutes after school on Tuesday - the only day Sam didn't have football, Kurt didn't have cheerios practice, and neither had Glee Club. But here it was 3:15 PM, fifteen minutes after school ended, and Sam still wasn't in the library.  
Kurt was almost positive the quarterback ditched him. Fine, if he wanted to fail Mr. Davidson's final, and get Kurt kicked off the football team, it wasn't Kurt Hummel's problem; Sam was the one who asked him for help in the first place. He thought at first that Sam was just teasing him, or setting him up for a prank, but the tone he used, and those puppy eyes Sam gave him just won Kurt over. _"What an idiot I am. He is just doing this so he and his neandrithalic football buddies can get a laugh. Typical… Yet I fell for it. I am an absolute fool." _Kurt was just about to pack up when he saw the blonde haired quarterback stride right into the library, and head straight to him.  
"What the hell took you so long?" Those were the first words out of the fashionable boy's mouth once Sam sat at the table.  
"What?" Sam shrugged Kurt's demands off, and pulled out the literature book.  
"It's seventeen minutes past three. If you were three more minutes late I would of left. That's what."  
"Chill out, dude. "  
"Do _not_ call me dude, bro, or one of those stupid boyish nicknames." Kurt rolled his eyes, and tried to remind himself why exactly he agreed to this, because both of them seemed pretty miserable so far.  
"Fine… Princess." Sam smirked feeling proud of himself, but the smirk didn't last long since after that remark Kurt hit him with his pencil.  
"Kurt. That's my name, please use it."  
Sam groaned, as he saw the very serious look on Kurt's face, and decided not to test the smaller boy. Especially since that boy was his ticket to staying on the football team.  
"So, why did you seek my tutoring services? You weren't very specific when you asked me yesterday." Kurt swiftly changed the topic away from all of the nickname nonsense, and back to the task at hand.  
"I want to stay on the football team. I have an F in English, and one in Spanish too, I probably need to pull one of the up to like a D if I want to have any hope of getting into a good collage playing football." Sam smiled over at Kurt, but Kurt looked unimpressed.  
"Wow, a D, way to set a high goal for yourself, Mr. Quarterback."  
"Hey, I have dyslexia, that makes English hard. I don't expect to be in an AP class like you." Then Sam caught that Kurt called him a nickname, so he decided to get back at him for earlier. "And the name is Sam. No_ gay_ nicknames."  
"First off, a girl in my AP class has dyslexia, so you can aim a little bit higher; say a C? Secondly, I will call you Sam when you get my respect, but right now you are annoying me; finally there's nothing homosexual about 'Mr. Quarterback'."  
"Bitchy much? And I meant it like as stupid. Wow, you are sensitive." It was clear now to Sam maybe to stay on Kurt's good side or they might start a yelling match in the middle of the school library.  
"Not bitchy, just trying to set goals for you. You want to go to college playing football, right? You need to do better than straight D's with a few C's. And thank you for calling your tutor stupid. You clearly need English tutoring, especially in vocabulary." Kurt knew he was being bitchy, but he didn't want to give Sam the pleasure of admitting that, no way. Not a chance.  
"What do you mean tutoring in vocabulary? I need tutoring in writing and understanding stuff most." Sam had honestly known clue what Kurt was talking about, well, he slightly did, but didn't want to say anything.  
"Anserine, foolish, gaumless, even dumb. Those are all appropriate synonyms for stupid, Blondie. When you are hanging out with me you are free to use any of those as a synonym for stupid, but according to the Webster's dictionary gay is _not_ an appropriate synonym."  
"I thought you'd be used to it." Sam shrugged.  
"Oh, I'm plenty used to it, but that doesn't mean I _like_ it. I had to wait seventeen minutes on you, so I basically have you on a string, Sam Evans. One bad move and you fail English." Kurt cracked a closed mouth smile when he saw how much power his threats had on Sam. This was going to be a long session that was for sure, but Kurt might as well milk it to his own good.  
"Can we actually get to work? There is a new comic I want to get, and the comic shop closes at 5:30." Sam casually ran his hands through his hair, and looked over innocently at Kurt hoping for some sympathy.  
"You were the one holding us up you know…" Kurt whispered to himself under his breath before loudly saying "Finally. Let's do this."

Kurt did let Sam leave before 5:30, and at the end both felt successful at the progress made. Kurt grasped the degree of Sam's dyslexia; it wasn't too severe, but it wasn't very mild either. Kurt decided since Sam probably hadn't looked up any fixes for it, but he decided to do research on his own.

In the sessions following Kurt and Sam begun to warm to one another, but they would never say they were friends. Just fellow Glee Club members and a tutor-tutored relationship. Slowly they became acquaintances, and started having small talk that wasn't fighting.  
"So, you are dating Quinn?" Kurt raised one eyebrow at Sam. Quinn was one of Kurt's best friends, and she told him about her and Sam. The thing is Quinn said they were using each other, Quinn wanted more popularity, and she told that to Sam upfront, but he still agreed.  
"Yeah, she's hot." Kurt noticed something in Sam's smile was a bit forced, but said nothing about it.  
"You know I know, you are just using each other, right? Quinn is one of my best friends…"  
"Y-y-you do? Fine, she wants a football player boyfriend who is a football star to look good for the Cheerios, a hot Cheerio girlfriend – who happens to be head cheerleader boots my popularity too. It's a win win."  
"Eh, I don't see the appeal in the relationship, but whatever makes you happy." Kurt just shrugged it off, but Sam decided to continue.  
"You don't see the appeal in it, because it's a guy and a girl."  
"Oh, low blow there, Evans. No, you idiot I don't see the appeal of using someone for popularity. Regardless of sexuality."  
"…You wish it was a low blow. And again, I'm just messing with you. Believe it or not; I think you are pretty cool, and you are sort of a friend."  
Kurt had to smile at Sam despite the sexual dig that he just let slide. "Thanks Sam… I guess you are pretty cool too."  
"I know I am." Sam stretched his arms back and put his feet on the table.  
"Feet off the table, and don't get too full of yourself; your D is still teetering on the low side." Kurt hit Sam on the back of the head with a book.  
"Okay, let's get to work. I'm ready to read and do that worksheet, and stuff."  
"Stop kidding around Sam, and we need to get to work."  
"I'm not kidding! I actually want to do this." For the first time Sam actually wanted Kurt's help, and didn't act grudgingly when told to work. Maybe they were becoming friends after all.  
*********************

Soon the meetings shifted from the library to Kurt's house, and not only was Kurt helping Sam in English now, but in American History.  
After about 2 months of tutoring Sam's F transformed into a C, and Kurt did feel quite proud of himself, but Sam still insisted on the tutoring, tips on helping his dyslexia, and now tutoring in history.  
Although in public Sam would say Puck or Finn was his best friend, but Sam felt most comfortable around Kurt. He could tell Kurt his problems, and Kurt would listen without judging. Likewise Kurt talked to Sam about stuff he wasn't sure Mercedes would get, or would be weird saying to Finn. Sure something's were a bit off with Sam, but he and Kurt trusted each other.  
"So today I was spying on the all boy school's Glee Club today…" Kurt started out on one of their later meetings.  
"And, what happened? Are they better than us?" Believe it or not, Sam got really into Glee Club. He loved the singing and the dancing… Everything, he'd be lying if he said he didn't like performing. Sam might have said he liked it as much as football.  
"Oh my god… They are fantastic. They were performing a Disney tribute. Costumes and everything… Only the princesses were princes."  
"Sounds kinda weird."  
"It's theatrical! Almost Lady Gaga level." Kurt insisted.  
"Eh, she's alright. But I am more of a rap and rock guy." Kurt and Sam never really discussed musical taste aside from casual comments.  
Kurt's face soon scrunched in a look of disgust. "I've told this to Mercedes many times. Rock I can stand… in limited quantities, but rap is a never. Especially… Have you seen Mr. Schue rap? Only 'old school' stuff I can stand."  
Sam laughed. He remembered the one time he saw the Glee Club teacher rapping _Airplanes_ with Rachel singing vocals that one day in Glee Club. It was really awkward. _Really, really, awkward.  
_"So, what else happened?" Sam leaned in intently to listen to Kurt.  
"That's what I was getting at… So they caught me, well Blaine the lead caught me. He confronted me, kissed me, and we have a date this Friday." Kurt was practically bubbling, but Sam just tried to fake enthusiasm… But he just got a pang in his stomached.  
"Wow, that's great Kurt!" Sam's excitement being fake went totally unnoticed by Kurt who seemed to be in his own world.  
*****************

Sam took a deep breath. He could trust Kurt. He knew he could. They had been friends for over two months, and Kurt was sure to understand how Sam felt. He knew it.  
Kurt had been dating Blaine for a month now, and Sam just smiled and nodded whenever Kurt talked about him; pretending to be happy on the outside, but being killed on the inside.  
"Kurt, I have something I need to say… "Sam started shaking. Trembling as he tried to remember the speech he planned inside his head. The one that sounded really good, and didn't make him look stupid. "Don't laugh at this, 'cause I swear it's not a joke… I-I was – well still am kinda confused about my sexuality. Then I met you, and you have this way about you. You don't care what people think, or at least you act like it. And you are bitchy – I know you hate when I call you that, but it's true, to the jerks who I am sad to say are my teammates and 'friends' when they treat you like shit. I wish I was like you, well, like not your clone… But confident. This is the first time- first time I told this out loud. Well, I kinda said it at my old school, but, uh never mind. I think; I'm pretty sure…" Sam took another deep breathe, trying to find the confidence he lacked. "I'm gay."  
Sam immediately looked down, and was afraid for some reason of Kurt's reaction. Part of his brain told him that was stupid, but he still was afraid. The moments of silence with no reaction from the other boy were killing him.  
Kurt's reply wasn't in words, but in a very out of character bear hug to Sam. "I know how hard this is, but please, have anyone but me as your role model. I'm no role model, Sam Evans. Tutor, yes; friend, yes; support, yes; but please don't look up to Me."  
"Why not? Who do you want me to look to? Rachel's dads?" Sam said not intentionally lightening the mood, but it did.  
Kurt chuckled at the idea of Leroy and Hiram Berry mentoring Sam… After all these are the people who raised Rachel Berry; one of the world's most annoying, yet talented people. "Please, not them either. I don't want you becoming the male Rachel."  
Sam raised his head and looked up at Kurt, for a moment Sam felt himself lost in Kurt's gaze, but then shook the thoughts from his mind again. Kurt was just a friend; Kurt was dating Blaine, and even if he wasn't Kurt would never go out with him. Sam convinced himself in vain of those three things.  
"Thanks, Kurt. For everything. I still get my d's and b's messed up sometimes, but I'm passing English. And I don't think I'd be totally accepting myself if you weren't here."  
Normally Kurt would tell Sam to stop being such a sap, and to get back to work, but this time he couldn't help smiling at the blonde boy "It's a pleasure, and remember… I'm always right here. Now, do you have anything you need help on – homework wise, I mean. "  
*********

Sam tried to hide his budding romantic feelings for Kurt. Wish them away (he tried), but they wouldn't leave so easily. Kurt, who was on planet-love (or rather lust) with Blaine didn't notice Sam's not-so-subtle glances, nor the smiles Sam gave him every time they talked.  
"Hey, Kurt," Sam casually decided to bring his crush up in conversation one day when they were working on a Glee Club project together.  
"Yeah, Sam? Is it a question about chorography? Because I ha-"Kurt was interrupted by Sam finishing his sentence.  
"Have you ever had a crush on some guy…? But knew that for one reason or another it would never work out, but you kept the crush anyway? Like, you had some sort of hope that he'd come to his senses and be with you?"  
That hit really close to home for Kurt. He was reminded of those _years_ that he carried on that pointless crush on Finn Hudson. How his heartbroken everyday over Finn, but he kept the delusional love alive in his mind. "Only too well." Kurt paused. He was like a mentor to Sam, right? Sam was not going to make the same mistake as him, he wouldn't let him. "My advice to you; forget about him. Chances are he'll never love you back, and the longer you drag out your crush on the straight quarterback the more your s "Wait, I never said anything about a straight quarterback…"  
"It's just an analogy, Sam." Kurt was now blushing hoping that Sam wouldn't see any farther beyond that.  
"Wait, did you have a crush on Finn?" Sam kind of put two and two together, and made that assumption.  
"Drop it, closet case." Kurt decided to use his snark and fight off any talk of his old and long gone crush.  
"What happened to you dropping the nicknames?"  
"What happened to personal business?"  
"Dude, it was just a simple question. Don't freak out."  
"Well, Mr. Narnia, it's a subject that I'd rather not talk about."  
"Well, how was _I _supposed to know it? The whole world doesn't know you lusted after Finn."  
"Good! They don't need to know!"  
"Why are you so impossible, Kurt?"  
"Why are you so dense, Sam?"  
There was definite sexual tension in the air after the argument was done. Kurt was determined not to let the petty argument get in the way of making their duet _perfect_.  
"I-I'm sorry, Sam. It's a touchy subject… I really haven't talked about it to anyone. I just didn't want you making the same mistakes." Kurt smiled coyly at Sam hoping he'd realize the good intentions. "Forgiven?"  
"Kurt Hummel admitting he is wrong. That's a shock." Sam laughed a bit at his own joke, but then finally agreed that all was forgiven. "I can't stay mad at you."  
"Yes, it's a rare event. Now let's get back to work, Justin Beiber."  
"Hey! I have been rocking this hairstyle since before she became popular!"  
Kurt just rolled his eyes and walked back to the piano where Sam followed with his guitar.

"Hey, Kurt, what's it like to kiss a guy?" Sam had been wondering this for a _long_ time. If he asked anyone else they'd probably catch on and figure out his sexuality.  
Kurt closed his eyes and thought about what to say. "In a word? Incredible."  
"I mean… Uh," Sam rubbed his hand behind his head while trying to think of the exact words to say. "what do boys lips taste like?"  
Kurt licked his own lips and smiled in a suggestive way. "I could just tell you…"  
"Or?"  
"Or this." Kurt leaned into Sam and planted a kiss on his lips. The kiss started sweet and chastate, but the moment Sam's shock wore off he deepened into the kiss, but then Kurt stopped it abruptly.  
"Tease." Sam said with a (mostly) faked glare.  
"Hey, I'm the one with the boyfriend here." Kurt remarked back.  
"And Blaine will be cool with this?"  
"He'll never know. And it was strictly platonic; neither you or I think or say anything else."  
Sam nodded. But it was a lie. He loved kissing Kurt, it was way better than kissing Quinn, or kissing any of the other Cheerios he tried to kiss. Kurt was the only Cheerio that he wanted to kiss.  
"Back to work," Sam sighed.

Kurt's relationship with Blaine had been growing shaky as Sectionals drew closer. Blaine told Kurt that he was totally trust worthy of knowing New Directions' song list, but even though they were dating Kurt still didn't believe him, and they got in a huge fight over it. And by the time Sectionals did happen they broke up. New Directions barely beat out the Warblers for victory, and it would be the farthest thing from the truth if Kurt didn't admit he felt a bit guilty.

"Sam, it's winter break, why are you here?" Sam stood with an awkward half smile half frown outside of the Hummel-Hudson household (Carole and Finn recently moved back in)  
"Uh, so I thought Christmas was a good time to come out to my family." Sam fumbled awkwardly out on the snowy porch. "Didn't go as planned."  
Kurt's look was horrified, he was thinking the worse. Sam's parents kicked him out, or disowned him, or told him to go to seek help from the church/medical help to "fix" him. "Please, come in."  
"What happened, tell me. Please, tell me, Sam."  
Kurt's wide-eyed worry really got to Sam, so he started to explain everything. "So, my dad… He drinks, and when he's drunk he can either really not give a damn or be very violent. I was hoping for the first… It was the second." Sam paused for a second when he heard Kurt gasp a bit. "Well, I told them… That I couldn't change who I was, and that I was sorry if I disappointed them. My mom didn't even say a word. She just walked out of the room, but my dad stayed, and well…" Sam slowly slid off his heavy coat, and then lifted his sweatshirt off to reveal a white wife beater, and arms covered in bruises. "I wasn't kicked out or anything, but it was not a welcome either."  
"Sam, I'm going to go get my dad and almost-step-mom, okay?" Kurt was still pretty much in shock, and he knew that this was too big to be just between them. Sam just nodded as Kurt ran off.

"That's just wrong…" Burt was not at all pleased by Sam's parents reaction to this at all. "I'm going down to talk to your dad tomorrow. A serious man to man talk."  
"Dad that might not be so good for your heart." Kurt didn't want Sam hurt, but he cared about his dad more, and he knew that the doctor's ordered him to be under no stress, and Kurt had a feeling this could be very stressful.  
"I know you worry about me son, but there are just some wrong things in the world that need to be changed. And if I can try and change one man's views it makes some sort of a difference."  
"Sam, why don't you come with me and I'll help get you set up for the night, okay?" Carole said while whisking Sam away so Burt and Kurt could have a serious talk.

In the end Kurt backed down and said that his dad had all his wishes to go and yell at the Evans', but Kurt would have to be there too.  
"Hey, Kurt," Sam ended up sleeping down in the basement with Kurt since it was the only place in the house with a spare bed.  
"What is it Sam? You are interrupting my beauty sleep. It's three AM."  
"I love you. It's not just a crush, it's love. I read somewhere that if you have feelings for someone for over four months that it's love. So I'm in love, Kurt."  
"Sam, get some sleep." Kurt groaned turning away from Sam.  
The blonde would not give up on the countertenor, so he quickly climbed into Kurt's bed.  
"Kurt, besides from the fact I have always found underwear models attractive, had reoccurring dreams featuring Adam Lambert, and have thought on multiple occasions about giving another dude a blow job; you are the reason I know I'm gay. The moment I laid eyes on you in that Cheerios uniform, and the next day in one of those girly sweaters, but the next in a suit I thought you were hot. Then I got to know you, and started thinking 'Oh, shit. I'm falling for a guy.' I got scared, but you were there. You are here."  
That's all it took.  
The smaller boy turned around to look up at the jock and smile.  
"I love you too. Didn't you know it from that kiss? I had been trying to hide it… Burry it in my relationship with Blaine, but I was falling for you, and falling hard."  
Sam scooted closer to Kurt, and soon they were cuddled in each other's arms, and that's how Burt, Carole, and Finn found them the next morning.


End file.
